There's some background below if you're interested, but the just of it is that I've been feeling a bit better lately--my SI is not nearly as persistent, I have a bit more energy, I don't spend as much time trapped in my mind/body with thoughts and emotions that make me miserable. Pdoc was attributing this change to therapy, and this conversation followed:

pdoc: "the transition [i moved to a new town, and had to get new shrinks] was difficult, but now you're settled with us [pdoc and t]."
c: "mhmm."
pdoc: "and you've been able to set some boundaries with your parents, even though that was difficult."
c: "true."
pdoc: "do you feel held here?"
c: "no."
pdoc: [genuinely surprised] "no? why not?"
c: "because... well, you're asking me to separate from my parents. and I get why you're suggesting that--they're not healthy people, and they contribute to my depression. but... I don't really know how to say this exactly... but if the apocalypse hit, they are the only people who would care if I were alive or not. the relationship i have with you and [t] is limited. what you're offering does not replace what you're asking me to give up. so no, I don't feel held."
pdoc: "but you seem to be feeling better now that you've set some boundaries with them?"
c: "yes. but maybe I feel better because I've had pretty minimal therapy over the last month and a half. maybe the longer I stay away from shrinks, the better I feel."
pdoc: "but you've been seeing me once a week."
c: "yeah, but usually I have twice-a-week therapy. for the last month and a half it's been nothing or once a week."
[long pause]
pdoc: "that felt like a slap in the face."
c: "aren't you supposed to be impermeable?"
pdoc: "no, of course not--otherwise how could I do my job?"
c: [shrug]
pdoc: "I must have said something that made you angry."
c: "Really? I don't feel angry."
pdoc: "let me think, what could it have been?"
c: "isn't it possible that I said what I said because I believe it to be true?"
pdoc: 'well, yes, but also... timing."
c: "huh. so you think I'm angry because I said something that hurt your feelings?"
pdoc: "mhmm."

So.... I guess my questions are:
1) It was my understanding that the strict boundaries in therapy are set up in part so that the client doesn't have to burden herself with her therapist's wants/needs/emotions. So.... doesn't that mean that when the client says something offensive or hurtful, the therapist doesn't necessarily share her/his emotional reaction?
2) Pdoc has never apologized to me, even though he's done some things that didn't sit well with me. (Super intense --> brush-off, Inconsistency, response to SH) Why the hell should I apologize to him?
3) Did I say that because I was angry? (If not, it seems sketchy that pdoc can take the thinks I say that he doesn't like and attribute them to "chihirochild being angry" rather than "chihirochild has a point.")

halp, pls :/

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Background if wanted/needed
Due to a weird insurance sitch, I do therapy with both a t and a pdoc. I see t once or twice a week and pdoc once every two weeks so that I see one or the other of them twice a week. They work in the same office and share info and stuff, so I don't have to repeat myself all the time.

There was a five-week period where I had very little therapy--first I was away for two weeks, and then my t was away for three weeks; during the second three-week period, I saw pdoc once a week. Right after t came back but I hadn't seen her yet, I had a session with pdoc and this is what he and i talked about.