I think your feelings might change in person. It can be hard, even for adults I imagine, to keep someone in one's "head" alive, especially if we're doing something else. "Trying to have a conversation" in one's head, if you think about it, isn't the right place for conversation and to "want" that, out of context as it were (Ho, hum, think I'll have a conversation with T in my head so I don't have to concentrate on this work I don't want to do) it could be a good thing that he's not "there?" It's harder to ignore the physical when it's right in front of you; all senses present.

Do let us know what happens tonight!