Sometimes I just don't know.
So I am in massage therapy school. Today we were focusing on head and neck along with doing full body massage. When I was on the table and my partner started working on my neck, every memory of my ex-husband choking me kept flashing in my head and I wanted to jump off the table. I was trying everything to distract myself. My partner kept asking me if what she was doing was uncomfortable. I told her no as she needs to practice also.
This is going to go on until June. I am not sure how to deal with this. I knew I had an issue with my face and head being touch and when I went for massage I told them not to focus on my head of face.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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