I can relate to that article too.


Love the way Mouse framed the fragmentation, as something similar happened to me too. I was not an orphan, but my mother just couldn't cope with another baby by the time she had me (all of us unplanned and unwanted). She has told me in later years that I "had no needs" as a baby. I don't think that is true-I think I gave up trying to cry out as I was passive as a child, not aggressive (it's best to have balance).


My T said I wouldn't have intelligence if none of my needs were met; failure to thrive. I did attach to my older sister. To this day, I still feel no attachment to my Mother. I talk with her and visit her. I've forgiven her. She is in poor health, so she won't be around much longer. I also don't want to deal with the guilt when she does pass, that I continued to ignore her and cut her out of my life. This is a better way for me. I think she had too much pain than she could deal with, never had a father, Catholic abuse, DV, etc. I would rather love than hate.


So I fragmented too. That's how I think of DID. Went to therapy for the first time years ago, and many of the parts came into my awareness at once and had sort of a breakdown, which should have never happened. What the psychiatrist did was dangerous. Anyway, that's what led to years of therapy afterwards. The last one, unfortunately, made things worse. All the feelings of being unloved are in my present now, rather than the past. My T was too harsh. I see no utility in this and am afraid it will never get better.


It's too late for me, but I hope you find your way TrailRunner.