I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I do think that feeling as though no one cares, or doesn't care enough, is a part of what depression does to a person. I know I have certainly felt that way. (Plus I'm also crotchety most of the time too.) So I don't think what you're experiencing is ether selfish or stupid. It's simply all related to the fact you're struggling with depression. I hope you're receiving some therapy services in an effort to treat your depression. Struggling along by yourself just makes everything seem all that much worse.