Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
I thought the "slap in the face" referred to comments a few interchanges back - to wit, i feel better if i dont see ts. This isnt edited dialogue, where each line follows immediately from the previous. To me, it was more, "i cant depend on you, i can only depend on my parents, even if they hurt me" is a slap in the face of a ts work in general. Not personal, except really to the client. Why does no one see it as i do??!
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That was my interpretation too, FWIW. I think it's perfectly acceptable for a T to give feedback about how one's words impact him. I mean, he didn't start sobbing with his distress or criticize her for being a terrible person. I don't see it as him making things about him. He just said, "this is what I took from what you said." I don't see that as a big deal, nor do I think the OP needs to apologize.
If it's not helpful to you to hear how your words impact your T, then tell him you don't want to hear it. But part of human connection is having an understanding of how we impact other people. Sometimes that has been an important part of my family, learning that some of my ways of being may not be creating the connection with people that I want. No problem if you don't want it to be a part of your therapy.
As an aside on the topic of therapy-- it did me more good to cut out my family of origin from my life for the better part of 10 years, than anything else. I learned I was worth caring about, other people showed up to care for me, and I stood on my own 2 feet. When I decided to re-connect, after my mother reached out, I went back on my own terms.