Hi scarlett: Well... I am old! And all things considered, it's not so bad. From what you wrote, it just sounds as though you have a lot of unsettled sorts of stuff going on at the moment. Transitions are tough, whether it be within the home or to a new home, or to a new job, etc. And then you've also endured a couple of serious losses over the past couple of years. So, at least from my perspective, I think feeling down, or perhaps bitter, is to be expected.

I once attended a partial hospital program where they told us: "Don't should on youself." So I'd just like to say there's no should about it here. You just feel the way you feel... and it's okay... I wish you well...