Quote:
Originally Posted by RubySapphire
I have been in a polyfidelity relationship for 4 months, with my long-term girlfriend and recent boyfriend.
Last night we all had a deep chat about depression and such.
I have been struggling with it for many weeks now, I told them I could barely find a reason to keep living and to get out of bed.
However all they seemed to care about was sex - naturally my sex drive was dead.
There are rules in our relationship that no one can be left out of such activities, and they did just that, right next to me after I had told them I was depressed.
After I was clearly mad, my girlfriend stormed out as she always did in these situations, she always tries to play the victim.
I feel they're not taking my depression seriously...or respecting my feelings, its been like this for a long time. Everytime I speak of an issue, she plays the victim.
I feel for my own good I should break it off, but I have so much in common with them that I'm afraid what I'll do if I break up.
Please give me advice...I'm so lost.
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Hi Ruby, I'm sorry you're struggling.
Having read your other post as well, I think that you should reconsider your well being in your current relationship. As with any relationship, when you are constantly fighting and being neglected, it is unhealthy and damaging and it only tends to get worse in the future. It is especially so when it sounds like everyone involved has a lot to work through themselves. It's hard to be in a relationship when you're a mess.
I understand that wanting to break away from a relationship is always hard under any circumstance, due to the doubts and the fear of the potential void that one may feel. I also know that in the case of a poly relationship, there's a certain worry you'll never find another one like it, due to the stigma and rarity of poly relationships.
With that in mind, you have to take your own well being into consideration. If the relationship is constantly draining you and giving you little, while you're pouring so much into it, how much will you have to offer the relationship in the end? Are the bits of comfort you get from your current relationship worth everything you go through? And if you're able to go your own way, will you be able to further grow and learn in a way that you're not able to?
Good luck and all the best.