Hello,
I am experiencing some difficulties at the moment, and am wondering if anyone could tell me what I may be experiencing. I plan to meet with a professional; I just want to know if others have gone through what I am.
I am 19, almost 20, and was diagnosed with Bipolar I a little over a year ago, though I have struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life. I had my first, and only, manic episode about 2 years ago. I remember how strange and terrifying it was for me, and am a little worried I may be headed in that direction again. Here’s why. I am a university student, and returned to school two weeks ago. Since then, I cannot sleep, or rather I don’t seem to need sleep. I’m hungry all the time, but I get food and eat very little. I am having trouble focusing, and find myself walking to places and not knowing how I got there. I have dissociated before, but not like this, if that’s what this is. I have been very productive, and my grades are amazing right now. I find myself crying regularly and do not know why. I do not cry often, so this is strange for me. I am irritable, and want to hit and throw things regularly, which is also not normal for me. I guess my question is whether or not this is normal for someone with Bipolar I, and what I might do to help it. I am unmedicated, and if possible would prefer to remain so. I have not had positive experiences with medication in the past. I do not remember all the symptoms I had during my previous manic episode, so I am unsure if this is how it began.
Thank you for reading my ramblings. I don’t really know how to talk to my friends about this, and my family does not need to worry about this.