And I'm not sure if it's wrong. I tend to panic in big situations and make up elaborate stories to get through it. The weird thing is, I don't usually feel bad about the lie, and sometimes I can even convince myself that it's true.

I'm quitting my job this week, and I've had a LOT of anxiety about it. I'm quitting because it's time to move on, and I want to change career fields, and I want to cut back on hours. It's just time. But I have SUCH a hard time communicating that to my boss, and I've been completely terrified to approach the situation with her.

So what did I do? I told her I'm pregnant. Which...I'm not. I completely made it up. A whooole story, complete with name ideas and worries about the "baby" and all...and now I, somehow, feel much less anxious. I feel better about telling her I need to cut back (on account of the "baby") or even telling her I need to quit because my SO wants me to "be home more."

I can HEAR how crazy this is. I'm not typically a liar. I don't tell lies on a frequent basis. But when a big change comes up, or a big confrontation, or whatever, it's like I feel the need to deflect it and make up a story to explain it and make me feel better. I even halfway convince myself it's true. I've been looking up baby names all day! But there's no baby! I don't even want a baby! What the heck is wrong with me 😔

The funny thing is, I was trying to indicate to my boss that I'll be leaving, and she said "Well, I'm glad you're feeling okay and we aren't losing you!" Even with a big lie, I'm a failure at communicating what I need and want. 😔😖