Great input! Thanks to each of you

I "signed up" for therapy because I have had many losses (people and pets) over the past decade. The most recent was my 18 year old cat (December); before that was my sister (end of 2016). Before that...the losses are piled one on top of another and I wanted to learn to deal better with sickness and death.

But right off the therapist was like, "You have had so much go on in your life...it seems like you are very courageous to go through these things...you seem like a gentle spirit..." and so on. And on. It seemed like she was almost in awe of me. And I was sitting in her office thinking, "Well, what am I supposed to do except go through these things? I don't have a choice. They happen. I do that which is necessary."

Then I started wondering if therapy can really do anything for me that I'm not already doing for myself.

I am not court ordered to go to therapy BUT it kind of feels like I am, because my pdoc works in the same office as my therapist. Pdoc insists I go to therapy. I fear that if I resist her and don't go to therapy, pdoc might pull back from prescribing meds that I believe are necessary for my stabilization. I feel trapped by that.