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Flowerb said:so that I wouldn't have to face how empty my life is. I'm busy - work and kids and all that - but no intimate relationship to speak of.
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I think this
might be the case with me too, but I am not to the point of being able to admit to that yet. Too scary. You are brave. It is scary to me just to read your words and feel that faint "ping" inside as they hit home.
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Flowerb said:I never knew I could feel this way about anyone. I didn't know how to feel safe and I never knew I had it in me to love someone with all the parts of me. My marriage was abusive and I think figuring out I could love gave me the strength to leave it.
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">This is very eloquent and touching to me, and reminds me of my own marriage and relationship with my T. Having the close relationship with him, especially since he is male, has been very healing to me, after so many years of an abusive marriage, and in this way, as well as others, he has helped me find the strength to abandon the abusive relationship and move on with my life.
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Mostly I still feel like I'm on the edge of my life and there is this giant chasm - and what I want is on the other side - just hidden inside the trees. So first I have to get to the other side and then figure out what is hidden in the trees. It is frightening to be at the edge like this - what if I fall in? And it is lonely too.
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Again, I found this very eloquent and touching. You should be a writer.
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How many more years in therapy can I possibly need!
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">It will take as long as it takes. You are blessed with a partner, your T, on this journey into the unknown forest. Keep him close by your side and it will not be so scary.
