It sounds to me like you've been hurt, "kicked in the stomach". So, yeah, that can take away a feeling of empowerment for sure, at least temporarily! But going from freaked out to the lump? Sounds like, hopefully/probably, you are on the mend!? After you feel better, then, that might be a time to call, if you still want to. Not needing the T to support you any more, necessarily, just wanting "closure", as you said.