It's possible. The last time I told a lie like this was years ago. I usually consider myself to be a fairly straightforward person.

I'm having a really difficult time asserting myself, and I've become very avoidant of difficult situations. I'm TERRIFIED of someone being angry with me or seeing me in a bad light. I can't explain it better than that, that it's pure terror. My boss has been piling on more and more, and instead of expressing that I can't cope with all the extra work, I've been smiling and saying, "No, it's fine!" But it isn't. And now I've found myself in a position where I have to tell her it's NOT fine, very plainly, and express that I absolutely have to leave the job, and that terrifies me. I'm so scared.

And now I have to do it anyway because the lie was just pointless. I regretted it the instant it came out of my mouth. I had been rehearsing all morning what I was going to say to her. I had planned it. My boyfriend has been working with me on practicing what I wanted to say so that I could actually go through with it, because it's been causing me so much stress. I was READY! And then I had to face her, and I had tunnel vision and my heart started pounding and I felt like I was going to throw up and the words just came out. And she literally gave me a chance to quit. Like right then, she said, "So is our current situation still okay?" That's where I could have said, "NO IT IS NOT." But instead I gulped and said, "Yeah, it's totally fine!"

I used to be a Pre-Law student. I enjoy making presentations, I love persuasive public speaking, and I used to enjoy debates. I never had a problem asserting myself. This is pretty new, like within the last three years or so. I'm trying to work up the courage to tell her tonight that I am leaving.