So... I have PTSD that is the consequence of a bad event back when I was 9-years old (I am now 28-years old). I also have been diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar Type I with Psychotic Features. Anyways, I assumed that whatever happened over the summer was due to some weird PTSD stuff and my other mental health conditions. I was already immensely stressed out and was not coping well with my life. Then "the straw broke the camel's back", I suppose. This was the decline.

I think finally opened up about my trauma to my therapist. I'm very avoidant about it and never talk or speak about it. I do not remember much of it either. My therapist and I concluded that I dissociated during the event which has somehow led to me having a really bad habit of dissociating all the time. We also discovered that I have dissociated amnesia because I cannot remember about 6-months afterwards. My brother talked about us having a blind therapist with a cat and that I lived with my aunt for months. I remember none of this and thought he was joking.

So, that sucks. That night (after seeing my therapist), I lied down on my sofa and made myself remember. I felt like it was in there somewhere. I remembered and then I started having some MAJOR problems for months. I was pretty much dissociated the entire summer. Probably from July until early November. I concluded that it was just depersonalization and derealization because I was straight up tripping. I did not recognize myself in the mirror and felt like my body did not belong to me and that it was someone else's. I kept a diary and it's just full of my anxiety and not feeling well and feeling weird.

But 2 of my entries are weird. The tone is kinda cold and disconnected. The entries read kinda like... Apathetic? But then it says things such as "I need to do this and that. My room is a mess. We should organize." And then later in the entry it says something like: "I am watching MSNBC because it is what she would normally do. I am watching it because that is what she likes to watch. I am attempting to enjoy myself like her. I am bored and change the channel"

This only happened for 2-entries and then stopped. I am thinking maybe I was just out of it. I often have issues with voices talking in my head, which are not me. I know that they aren't me. I have concluded that it might be my bipolar disorder. They are often talking about me or arguing with each other. During the summer, one started yelling at me when I told it to shut up.

My psychiatrist fixed my meds and it went away. Weirdly enough, I miss the chattering because it's been super quiet for awhile. I still do not understand WTF that was or why I was behaving that way. Does that sound like DID to you or was I just tripping balls 24/7?