Well... I guess I'm sort-of a spouse who is ill who perhaps "declines" as opposed to refuses to get help. The difference, I guess is that, from what you wrote, it sounds as though your wife is more ill than I am. And my wife isn't particularly concerned about whether I seek help or not. But then I'm also not taking steps to divorce her either.

Unfortunately, this is a situation people come here to PC with periodically. You're certainly not alone in that... cold comfort I'm quite sure. Sadly, there's probably not much you can do about this. If your wife has chosen to follow this path, that may just be the way it's going to be.

Here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives on the subject of surviving divorce. Perhaps something in them will be of some help:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/lettin...up-or-divorce/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-ways...ter-a-divorce/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/extremi...se-of-divorce/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...after-divorce/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/surviving-your-breakup/

I wish you well...