I get it. i'll be dead in a few months, so why should she care?

but i hoped... i thought... well....., not even a paid relationship makes people care....

last session, i went in and she said "im not feeling well, is it ok if we finish earlier, just this once?" i thought it was because she wasnt feeling well, so i was glad to be able to do something for her... finishing earlier? i even asked her if she wanted to end it after 30 mins... then i got out of her office and saw another man coming in..... emotionally, it didnt hurt me, but intellectually... there it was: the proof that there was someone more important than me. someone so important that my session had to end earlier for him.

then today.... 50 mins before session she texts me saying she cant be there. reschedule? sure... she can do whatever she wants. im not important, i dont matter, i'll be dead in a few months, why should she care? of course there are people more important than me. of course....

im done. im really done. had enough. its time to end it. do you agree?