The way out is through. It may seem like it's better to go back to him but it's not. You're feeling an intense sense of fear and loss at this moment -- but the alternative is that you will feel this same fear and grief and loneliness in the relationship in a distilled, drawn out, soul-sucking way if you stay with him. The present intense turmoil WILL PASS. If you stay with him, the pain will wear you down forever, with no end.

The way out is forward. It's hard. It's the hardest thing in the world. But you can do it. On the other side of it, and there's definitely another side that you will eventually come out on, there's your life. Your life is waiting for you to take it back. It's ready for this strong, hard, fearless person to rescue it -- and pick it up again.

You deserve peace. You deserve to be loved for all that you are. You do not deserve to be abused. There is nothing that you could do to deserve his behavior.

Please stay strong.