Sorry for all of your losses. If your pdoc insists on you going to therapy, perhaps ask him what his reasons for that are. Ask him how not going to therapy affects him prescribing meds to you. Maybe that would be a good starting point to figure out how to proceed with therapy. Also, if you do continue with therapy whether "forced" by pdoc or of your own volition, you are entitled to shop around for other therapists that could be a better match for you.