From what I've read, you are, on some level, seeking enlightenment. You mention this now and then. Within this seeking process, you will have "light" shed upon the "darkest corners" and you will "see more." You will decide whether or not to deal with your own "darker side," and if so, you will be deciding just how to do so.
This is just a part of the overall process.

I think you are on the right track.

Love and Light!

WC