Yesterday I was in the shower when the phone rang. I could not answer and my kids are not supposed to answer the phone without me knowing who it is. And they did not answer; lolol--suprised me cause they usually answer and tell me they forgot that they not supposed to.

Anyway, I looked at my called display and recognized the number. The name was listed as unknown. It bugged me all day they. I took the kids out shopping for a while and when we got home I looked in the back of our phone book. I write down numbers in the back. It was my family doctor calling from his cell phone. So now I am going nuts wondering why he called. He must have just got back from holidays. I was kind of shocked that he called me not even being back to work yet.

So I was going to call him back today but decided not too. Its Sunday and his family goes to church on Sundays. And I don't want to bother him as he must be busy just getting back from a month holidays. He will call back if needed.

So now my mind is going insane. I am afraid that he recieved some calls. I had made a couple of stupid remarks to my old t and my chiroprator---I think he has talked to them. Now I am in panick mode. I was going to avoid going to see him for as long as I could. I know the IV treatment is going to come up again. What concerns me more is that he was already considering admitting me into h. AAAHHHH, not sure what to do here. As glad as I am for the fact that my doctor is back--I am fretting as well. What do I do?? I already know what you would say; lolol. GO SEE YOUR DOCTOR; LOLOLOL. Wish it were that easy. My bravery is hiding.......

Thanks for listening to my nonsense blabbering. I am just freaking out here. I sooooo wish I could take you all with me; lolol. You have all been my supports for months now--your my friends and many feel like my family. You are part of me and I wish I could have u here. Come kick my butt or hold my hand like a little girl and come with me to see him. I know--what a baby. I can't help these fears though.

Justy--with a big ole sighhhhhh.