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Originally Posted by amandalouise
going on just my own situation with having DID, no this is not how my DID was... it wasnt just a two time deal of journal writing. in me DID affected my whole life beginning with the first altered creation at before age 5.
example any time I felt depressed, suicidal, needing/ wanting to cry, any time there was a rain storm I would have my dissociative symptoms, then my dissociative alter Rainy would take control and handle those problems... just rain storms alone that means over millions and millions of times over the course of decades this alter was taking control and functioning just like any other normal human being (eating, drinking, changing clothing, taking baths... everything a normal human being does...even during school, home, birthday parties, happy events, sad events in my life ... you name it, if I was feeling depressed, suicidal, needing/ wanting to cry or a rain storm was happening this alter took over and did it for me.)
I never wrote or talked in the third person in regards to me and my alters. this would have alerted my parents, teachers and other adults that something was wrong. my abusers code of do not tell or else prevented this in me.
I did though talk in normal third person talking like all humans learn to do, like when talking to my parents my parents would say you kids go get your shoes on and my siblings and I would say we will. or we did. teachers and doctors would ask ... how are we today and i would say we are fine, but this was different then talking about my alters and I, I was just being like normal people.
my suggestion is if this continues to bother you contact your doctors, they will be able to tell you what this is in you.
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I'm sorry, but where did I say that I wrote or talked in third person? I said that one situation was abnormal (i.e. writing in my diary). I have no comment about my childhood since I cannot remember anything before age 9. And I did not talk about any alters? I was not suspicious of any odd behavior until recently since I was dissociated for 6-months. Re-read my post.
I'm very confused by your reply and suggest that you re-read my post. No shade.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay
Hi there mightyflytacos. From your description I would say DID isn't outside the realm of possibilities. It sounds like you definitely have some dissociation going on that is associated with amnesia and possible alternate identity states. Traumatic events in very early childhood are not part of the diagnostic criteria although typically there is some form trauma in that time period. It doesn't have to be severe abuse though, it could also be attachment trauma.
What does your therapist think?
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I have not seen my therapist in over a month, but I see my psychiatrist biweekly since I'm on a cocktail of drugs to keep me functioning like a normal human being (ha).
We mainly talked about my progress over the past year or so. He said that he was very very very confused about my condition or possible conditions. He said that... What was it... That I seemed quite emotionally intense, but... He used the word "disperse" to describe me. I have ADHD, but he said I had extreme problems with focusing and would keep wandering or IDK... Maybe zoning out? I was not aware of this behavior so this now concerns me... He said it was very difficult to get me to focus and he said it was not due to my inattentiveness (ADHD). He said that he thinks that it was maybe anxiety. So, he doesn't seem all that sure. My mother visited me and also noticed the zoning out thing more often than usual. He wanted me to maybe see a neurologist to make sure I wasn't having seizures.
We started talking before my whole summer blackout thingamabob. A few months after I started seeing him, I was severely dissociated, so I was banned from socializing with other people. I lacked say... Social awareness? Everything felt strange and dreamlike to me, which I did not like. So I wasn't eager to do much to begin with.
My therapist did not like to touch on the trauma since it causes problems (i.e. catatonia).
It was recommended by both my psychiatrist and therapist to just leave it alone and not bother to touch it with a 50ft pole. So while, the DID is uncertain, I do have a dissociative disorder (DPD or Depersonalization and Derealization Disorder). I seem to be unable to control it when I'm not on one of my medications. The dissociations are anxiety related, so they're probably going away since one of my meds is taking care of the anxiety.