(((((DePressMe)))))

I am so sorry that you’re feeling this way right now. I do not mean to belittle your feelings in any way, but you are such an awesome person and so talented. You’ve overcome so much and accomplished so much that for you to say you feel in any way inadequate baffles me.

You know yourself better than anyone else. To acknowledge that having children isn’t right for you is amazing. You cared enough and were responsible enough to take steps to make sure that this was not thrust upon you without planning it out.

I understand exactly what you’re saying about YOU bringing a new life into the world, and if we knew each other in rl, and you asked my opinion I would have told you that the things that you’ve overcome, accomplished, and your insight are all components of being an excellent mother.

I’m not sure how large of a community you live in or how rural your area is, but is there a program there that you can volunteer to hold and rock sick babies at the hospital? Read to ill children? I know it’s not the same, but you have so much to offer and it might make you feel more fulfilled to share yourself with those that really need it. Mentor a young budding artist such as yourself. Right now your art is your legacy, and I must say it’s pretty impressive.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope that you are able to come to peace with yourself.