I am usually fine. I always cheer people up and do my best to comfort them. I rarely have a downtime. For the past two days, I have been feeling very down for no reason. It was too hard on me like never. I have been through a divorce one year ago. I was the one who wanted to divorce. I am in a relationship with an older woman, 8 years older. I take a good care of her, always. I am always by her side whenever she needs me. However, maybe it is the first time to feel down in the past 6 months, we have been together for 9 months. She did not show much support. Just a few texts to remind me that she loves me and that is it. I was horrible in general, very irritable. I answered one of the texts do you really care? She said, yes. Let’s go out and drink. I said, I do not trust myself much to drink or stay around anyone. We had a fight this morning and she acted like go to hell, I am sick of you. I told her, you have never seen me like this before. I could not even cry while talking to her. Even though, I have been crying for two consecutive days. I am writing these lines while I am feeling extremely tired because I cried a lot this morning. I was never like that. I have no place to go. My dad passed away when I was just 11. If I call anyone from my family, they will freak out because as I said before I am rarely down and depressed. My life is going well. I do not know why I am feeling like that. I cannot explain it. My biggest disappointment is in my girlfriend who always finds me whenever she needs me. She did not offer anything. Nothing. For the first time in my life, I wish my dad was there to go and cry over his shoulders. I have no idea what should I do. I cannot function. I am disappointed in my girlfriend and I feel that I should never be with someone like her who cannot give emotional support in my downtime. Any idea how to handle my situation? How to get over this phase? And how to respond to my girlfriend’s negligence?

I feel lonely. I hate the silence when I go back home and there is no one at home. I suddenly figured out that I have no one to cry over their shoulders. I have no place to go. My arms are numb, and the depression is killing me. I have been always the strongest in my circle. But, now I am down, and I am unable to do anything about it. The only one that I needed is giving me the cold shoulder. I am suffocating.