I felt empty, bored and sick of myself before so I cut myself again. Last time was 1 week ago, I cut because I missed my ex therapist that endend abruptly with me, basically he abandoned me and that triggered me.
I just feel so ashamed of myself and the fact that I'm seeing a therapist, a psychiatrist, I feel shame about what I said during certain occasions, of what I did. My self esteem is very low and I need to talk with my therapist about this but last time during therapy (it was the first session with a new one) I stayed silent because I was afraid to concern her.
Before I cut myself because I felt a sensation of emptiness in my stomach, like something is missing and I feel no joy. Everything I do makes no sense, I felt sick of myself and wanted to throw up. I don't know how to explain all of this to my new therapist, I don't even know why I feel empty and what's lacking. I think it's self love, so it's all linked with low self esteem.
I wonder if it's normal to cut yourself out of boredom? I feel so bored like nothing brings me joy.