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Old Jan 23, 2018, 07:58 AM
TishaBuv TishaBuv is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,258
Narcissist abuse— killing people with words and hot air. Making them want to kill themselves! It’s a thing.

And I’m sorry to admit, I picked up that shrewish mouth, aimed at my husband. Emulating what I saw my mother do. I hate that so much. I then turn my anger onto myself and punish myself for it.

And he doesn’t care what I say. He has not reacted no matter what I do. I can’t push him away. It’s taken me down the path all the way to saying the worst things I can think of saying to him to try to make him leave, yet he doesn’t react.

He’s too good for me.

And I also know not to take it to the point of no return. I know if I tell him the one worst thing I have done, he might probably finally abandon me and then what?

Am I doing this because I have BPD? That’s why I knock myself out to just go to bed. So I shut my stupid mouth!
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