Y'all are seriously the best; thank you for all of your thoughts and advice.

I don't think I'm going to apologize--I think that his reaction was out of proportion to my comment, and was likely related to how smug and successful he was feeling in that moment until I burst his bubble. But I am going to try to figure out why that happened.

The reason I keep working with him despite the fact that our interactions are often fraught (and sometimes in a way that seems contrary to my understanding of what a therapist should be) is because my t trusts him, and I trust her. She's very willing to acknowledge his multiple faults, but she still trusts him. So I think I'm going to ask both of them about why the hell some of these things have happened and why they are okay or not and to think seriously with t about whether i should just find another pdoc. I'm hesitant to "fire" him solely because we have conflict--that seems sorta dumb because conflict can be a part of useful therapy (right?). And also I think that my reactions to him are in part transferential, related to feelings I have about other male authority figures in my past and present. So maybe there's work that can be done there.

I dunno, y'all. This s#!t makes me tired.