I understand this all too well. I have had those same feelings along with some serious questioning my worth when it comes to attaching to people. I feel as though I am contaminating them with my wrong-ness and eventually will lead to them giving up and me getting hurt. Again.

That being said, I am working through it and I am starting to understand what a secure attachment can be like and I can't say I hate it. I still frequently talk with my T about my fears and she has been extremely patient and understanding even though I frequently freak out and push both her and my girlfriend away.

I'm not sure that's helpful at all but, in summation, I understand what you're feeling. Hugs!