Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay
Hmm, that's an interesting response from your T and pdoc. (recommending you to "not touch DID with a 10 foot pole". That wouldn't inspire trust in me. They acknowledge you have a dissociative disorder but when you mention symptoms that are specific to one particular dissociative disorder they say to not think about it? To me that would indicate their position towards the disorder more than anything else.
What do you think about what they have said to you?
|
Hello. What do you mean indicate their position towards it? I think that I'm just confused, really.
I think that they believe that it's best to not touch the trauma at the moment because they believe that it should be dealt with when it wants to be dealt with. From what I understood from my trauma-based therapists is that you should never force these things out if they don't want to be. They believe that my body is concealing it intentionally and will release it when I am ready to do so.
It was revealed this year that I have apparently implanted false memories before age 9 and maybe shortly after the event. Because the time lines do not make any type of logical sense. I never actually sat down and thought about it, but my childhood memories are either nonexistent or appear to be false. Most of my childhood memories are of me watching myself do things. I think this is why my memories are messed up because I believe that since I watched myself doing them, it must be true.
Otherwise, I have to ask my mom or brother about who I was and what I was like as a child, because I do not know or remember. I have no idea how I was personality wise. And I'm always wearing the same outfit and hairstyle that I wore on my 5th birthday party in the dumb fake memories that I concocted up. But I feel like I should just leave it alone. I might've made up **** because I'm uncomfortable about something. Who knows.
Do you mean depersonalization disorder? They did not tell me to not think about it, they were telling me that it was important to just take it slow and not stress myself out any further. And that they were not going to force me to talk about anything. They do think it's important for me to eventually address it, but it seems to have negative affects at this time.