Quote:
Originally Posted by Adventurous
It seems that I’m posting a lot here, but that’s because I’m worrying a lot. Being a teenager isn’t easy...
I have always loved dogs. I own a very cute Shi Tzu. I am disgusted when I hear about a dog being abused. However, recently, I’ve had an intrusive thought about harming him. While thinking about it, I suddenly felt that I liked it when dogs were abused and killed. I felt PLEASURE from that. Then I started having horrible “fantasies” where I killed dogs. I would say this was an intrusive thought, but I feel pleasure from these thoughts, which scares me. Could it be because I just enjoy violent things? Could it be the same reason behind why I had the other violent fantasies? Could it just be my OCD tricking me (if so, this is very realistic). Please help!
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With OCD you can even have "egodistonic thoughts" which are thoughts that are against everything that you believe in or stand for. The more you dread the thought the more it tries to come into your mind. You may also be experiencing the fear of "What if I like this?" and now as a result it feels as though you like it even though it isn't true. OCD is an anxiety disorder that uses fear and compulsion to control it's victims. If you aren't seeing a doctor and therapist for this then, you need to. Remember, it is YOUR mind. Take back the control. Tell it you're not afraid and that you don't have to obey. Until you see your doctor or therapist again avoid things that make you feel anxious and avoid caffeine too.