I have not read all of the replies, but one time, a couple of years ago, I wanted to tell my T something very difficult. I was nervous and scared that she might get angry with me if I told her....
It wasn't planned, but I just blurted out "do you love me?" And it went into a short lecture about how that word is reserved for family/close friends. Then, that evening, I got an Email from her accusing me of bullying her for asking that question. I was heartbroken, and still really never got over it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
I have thought about this a lot. I read about people on here whose Ts say they love them. Ex-T basically said she loved me. I do love current T, and I know she cares about me. But does she love me? Is it even okay for a T to love their clients? And if so, is it okay to tell their clients?
My T is mostly blank slate... So that will be an issue in itself. I also think she didn't agree with ex-T telling me she loved me (but that conversation was a long time ago). M
And my T has pretty strong/healthy boundaries.
But I want to know if she loves me!
However, I know (and I think she knows) if she tells me she doesn't love me, it will devastate me. I will feel rejected. I will most likely have a breakdown, and it will set our relationship back.
It's weird though. As of right now, I'm okay if my T doesn't love me. What matters is that she cares. But I think hearing the words "I don't love you" will kill me (not literally).
So I want to ask her if we can talk about love in a therapeutic relationship, specifically love from a T. I want to know her opinion on it, and I want to know how she feels about me.
How do I bring up this topic with her? (Btw, I plan on emailing her so that she has time to think about how she wants to address it).
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