thank you for your thoughtful message bioChE. My son has been thinking a lot about his part in the fiasco namely being so intoxicated in public. I do not know what if anythign he said. I was just saying that I know he can be very insulting if he wants to be... You are right that it costs him in many ways, also with me. I am at times afraid for my own mental health to have him in the house. that is part of the reason (not the only one)


I do want to say that it was no doubt partly just bad luck to run into a violent person in that situation. I don't blame my son for getting hit in the mouth. I don't blame victims of violence ... male or female. it will take time for everything to settle in on balance.


you are certainly correct and I will come back to your post again and read it carefully tomorrow and into the future to remind myself and rethink the part I want to take away and the part I want to leave.



I am not sure about what I wrote that defended my son's actions. He did handle it well to get dental care and on his way out of the country the next morning.


Editted to add: his teeth were chipped when he fell, not from the punch. There's no bruises on his face. His friend said the guy was looking for a fight and also punched him (he punched both my son and his friend) and followed them out of the bar but they got away from him. The other young man wasn't injured.


I never said he 'was not old enough to understand these things'. My point about full executive function being delayed has to do with being able to make the correct decision in the moment. Understanding the situation retrospectively is a different matter.