I can fart in five languages.
Each day I wear prom dresses, high heels & mink coats...& I'm a guy.
The president shares his porn star actresses with me - sloppy seconds, though.
I daintily devour SPAM & pig's feet casserole, drink the best malt liquors (40 ouncers, of course), & always belch elegantly after my meal.

...In other words, I'm a real class act.