I’m totally freaked out now. My dr wants to follow up with me in person tomorrow. I feel like that means something is wrong, and I immmediately jumped to lung cancer. The cough I developed in August has never gone away fully, just lessened. I figured at this point it was a smoker’s cough but I didn’t quit smoking. Stupid I know. Now of course my catastrophizing brain has me convinced I have stage three lung cancer and six months to live. And I might! You never know. But I also did blood work yesterday so it could be something she found in the blood work. And one time I had a dr from the same practice call me in just to tell me everything was fine. So I don’t know. But I know I’m not going to get any sleep tonight that’s for sure.

And I also know I’m quitting smoking. That’s it. Smoked my last pack yesterday. Mainly because everyone around me has quit and I’m the last one standing outside when it’s pouring, twelve degrees, etc etc. I feel like a fool. And now I’m scared. So I’m quitting. I hope it sticks this time. I tend to go back to it when I get depressed.

Edit: dr posted test results in my patient portal. I have with scarring on the bottom of my lungs or partial collapse, which sounds bad but she assured me it’s not. Thank god. She just wants to see me to make sure I’ve improved. I’m just not used to having a good, attentive GP at this place! At least I can rest easy. Still quitting though.