I understand the concept of transference. I've experienced it myself. It's reacting to the therapist as if she is an important person in your life. I'm not sure that is all that is happening here though. You have fallen in love with someone who is unavailable to you. It's totally understandable given your history and shyness. It isn't your fault. But I think that you are the one who has to decide what to do with it.

I think that you might need to consider that maybe the best person to work through these feelings with is not the person you love. I'm guessing that she is pretty young and she might not be really equipped to deal with this. It's not that she doesn't care. It's just a tough thing. And maybe someone outside would be able to give you a better perspective.

I had to do that once. I had to see a different therapist because the one I was seeing triggered the most painful feelings in me. And the new therapist (who was the same gender as me) helped me understand those feelings and figure out how to get my needs met some place other than in therapy.

If you do decide that you need to see someone else, I would suggest finding someone male or a woman who is much older than you. Someone that you would have a harder time imagining yourself with.