Thanks for the link.

What I am looking for specifically I suppose is somewhat of a "chicken vs. egg" theory.

Heres the scoop in a nutshell.

My husband has had depressive episodes and social issues since he was 12. They were dormant to a great degree while our dating became serious. (our therapist called this a "honeymoon" phase because he was distracted with the newness of our relationship) After we got married the depressions and difficult behavior began to show up. I was blindsided and didn't really know at the time what was happening.

Fast forward 10 years and my husband gets diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety Issues. He is put on medication and we are thrust into therapy. Fast forward again 8 years and he is now backpeddling to where he was prior to treatment. He is currently off meds, minimal therapy and back into the mindset that I am the sole source of all of his problems in the world.

His recent argument being that he is no longer depressed because he believes that his depression was perpetuated by me. In his perspective if he had remained single, or married someone else, he would not have suffered depression.

Which of course makes no sense since he had depression and other issues far before I ever entered his life. I forgot to add that these have been diagnosed as due to his dysfunctional upbringing in an alcoholic environment.

What he fails to accept is the concept that depression takes a toll on relationships. That the marital problems we are experiencing are a direct result of the depression. The counselor used the analogy of alcoholism. That the alcoholic brings a specific dynamic into a relationship. That this brings about conflict. That until the alcoholism is dealt with, the relationship cannot heal. My husband refuses to accept this.

I am so frustrated at the moment I am on the verge of just tossing in the towel and being done with this. I am so burnt out.