I don't really think of my abusive past as deep or dark secrets, or secrets at all. It was a secret when I was a child, but not when I became an adult and started dealing with it, bits and pieces at a time. I tried to tell the college counselor I saw for a short time, but she didn't get it. About 7 years later, I did about 5 years of therapy with 2 T's and thought I was done. 15 years later, issues kicked up in a new way when I had a child that was the same age I was when I was abused. It's now 8 years later, and I'm no longer dealing with past trauma except tangentially. Now I'm on a wholistic wellness kick and grief recovery and personal growth mission as I change jobs to be able to engage in a creative project I've long wanted to do.

It has done me much good to talk about my past, to bring these things into the safe space of therapy and discuss how they have shaped myself and my life. Not all of this discussion has been about how bad it was, as even in my abusive family, there was good parenting and positivity from my childhood. And not all the shaping that was done by what happened to me has been negative in terms of who I am and how I work with victims now and how I otherwise live my life.