Pondering a few things egarding last night's phone call with MC--one about H and two about MC. The phone call was with both H and me, using my cell's speakerphone.

H question first: H was playing a video game on his computer during the whole call. Would this bother anyone else? I know he probably figured it was just between me and MC (MC had suggested all 3 of us be on call), but I'd also talked to H like a half hour beforehand and asked him to chime in on occasion, especially regarding something he'd said in our conversation about MC last week--how he was thinking during Friday's session that he wished MC had shown more humanity toward me instead of just being in therapist mode. I still had to basically whisper to him what I wanted him to say during the call. Yeah, it went much longer than we'd expected it to, but he was playing the video game from the very start.

MC question 1: The topic of the "love" e-mail from December came up. MC insisted during the call that, even though I'd sent an e-mail afterward clarifying that it was platonic, he still thought it was romantic love. And he also said he thought the same after the phone call from December, when I'd reiterated that it was platonic. So essentially, our marriage counselor, on a call with both me and H, was insisting that what I'd expressed to him was romantic love--and that it was a big part of why he'd wanted to pull back on contact. Is that...appropriate? I mean, it's one thing if I'm sitting in session with my individual T and he's pressing the topic. But for our marriage counselor to press it, basically like, "I know you feel romantic love for me"--that's weird, right?

MC question 2: MC told me that some stuff I'd said in past month or so had hurt him (like my being critical of things he's done). And that he'd felt frustrated with me on multiple occasions recently. I said I thought that therapists were just supposed to deal with feelings like that on their own rather than sharing them with clients. MC seemed to disagree (he has said in the past that I shouldn't worry about his feelings...). Should therapists be sharing feelings like that with their clients? Also consider that in this case...it's my marriage counselor...

Just trying to parse some stuff from the call--basically having a mix of "MC still cares about me" and "MC was kind of being a jerk" and "Much of this is coming from countertransference stuff, MC's issues, not so much me or something I did." Which...actually probably is a good balance to have...