My feelings are mixed up about this bloke that I have an attraction to it is more of a need coming from loneliness.We chat when I go into his cafe about films that we watch,and sometimes I think he is interested sometimes he goes cold,last time he was really friendly but the time before he made a rude comments,we were talking about fa film and then we stopped talking and I started to read the paper and he commented out loud saying,'no more questions',not directing the comment at me or anyone else,I was embarrassed,I thought he was saying I should have chatted him up more and flirted.But I am scared to do that cos I don't want him to think my interest is sexual cos at this stage it is not,I don't know if I want him in that way or not.I'd like to know more about him first.Also I know he has a daughter and I tried to find out if he had a wife but he avoided giving me that information.I kinda said your wife must be fed up of the long hours that you work and he didn't say yes she is or say I am not married...so I am in the dark about that.I also am not sure and I back off cos I don't think he and I am on the same page politically he has right wing papers in the cafe for customers to read and I am left of centre.I don't think we have much in common.Writing this helps me get things cool in my mind...I do think loneliness is what attracts me to this man.It doesn't help that I have shown interest in other men and they don't seem to notice me.If and when I lose weight and then men show more interest I won't like it cos it will mean I am not good enough unless my body looks good and I will feel I am not wanted for who I am inside,yet I want to be wanted cos I am attractive too,it is all confusing and I feel like an adolescent.