I see bipolar as a part of me but not a controlling interest. It does sometimes take control, but each part of me does sometimes, like a snake with two heads, but more like about 9.
I'm sorry you're having issues right now. I know some of what you're feeling. I loathe those times when it hurts to move, emotionally hurts to move. It seems like I spiral and collapse into my own inadequacy.
If you need support, keep posting. I'll read it. I've been there. I'm here.