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emirto89 · Jan 24, 2018, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by depzeid

I am usually fine. I always cheer people up and do my best to comfort them. I rarely have a downtime. For the past two days, I have been feeling very down for no reason. It was too hard on me like never. I have been through a divorce one year ago. I was the one who wanted to divorce. I am in a relationship with an older woman, 8 years older. I take a good care of her, always. I am always by her side whenever she needs me. However, maybe it is the first time to feel down in the past 6 months, we have been together for 9 months. She did not show much support. Just a few texts to remind me that she loves me and that is it. I was horrible in general, very irritable. I answered one of the texts do you really care? She said, yes. Let’s go out and drink. I said, I do not trust myself much to drink or stay around anyone. We had a fight this morning and she acted like go to hell, I am sick of you. I told her, you have never seen me like this before. I could not even cry while talking to her. Even though, I have been crying for two consecutive days. I am writing these lines while I am feeling extremely tired because I cried a lot this morning. I was never like that. I have no place to go. My dad passed away when I was just 11. If I call anyone from my family, they will freak out because as I said before I am rarely down and depressed. My life is going well. I do not know why I am feeling like that. I cannot explain it. My biggest disappointment is in my girlfriend who always finds me whenever she needs me. She did not offer anything. Nothing. For the first time in my life, I wish my dad was there to go and cry over his shoulders. I have no idea what should I do. I cannot function. I am disappointed in my girlfriend and I feel that I should never be with someone like her who cannot give emotional support in my downtime. Any idea how to handle my situation? How to get over this phase? And how to respond to my girlfriend’s negligence?

I feel lonely. I hate the silence when I go back home and there is no one at home. I suddenly figured out that I have no one to cry over their shoulders. I have no place to go. My arms are numb, and the depression is killing me. I have been always the strongest in my circle. But, now I am down, and I am unable to do anything about it. The only one that I needed is giving me the cold shoulder. I am suffocating.

Hi I'm very new to this forum but I couldn't help but read your particular statement because it sounded like my story exactly but reversed. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 6 years and I've known him all my life in the beginning I was very strong living on my own with my daughter and taking him in for the first two years of our relationship when he was out of work after 2 years of living together at my house I moved in with him when his mother passed away and that's when things took a turn for the worst Heathen fount a job at the studios which paid very well and he felt what I believe was a sense of power over me because I was living in his house even though I split the bills down the center with him anytime we got into an argument you would feel that he can tell me to pack my stuff and get out this is when I started to become suspicious and felt nothing I can do is write with all that being said I then lost my job and they've got a lot worse fast forward till about a year ago I fell into a very deep depression because no I felt somewhat indebted to him cuz I was not working and where I felt he would do my support my rock and do the same for me as I did for him when he lost his job and we first started dating I received nothing but his condescending attitude and no moral support whatsoever now I must admit I did fall heavily into a depression where I did not want to speak to nobody but my child and I did begin to take drugs because of how utterly alone and worthless I felt and at this time I'm still living in the house while looking for a job with my child and being completely isolated by the one who I thought we're completely support me we have been separated for the past 6 months and I believe me losing my job was an excuse for him to see other people which I believe he is seeing someone now I completely understand what you're going through and I know how hard it is to not have anybody you feel like you can even talk to I am slowly but surely pulling myself out of that hole to find a job for my daughter and to keep myself away from drugs because I know I was never this sad and depressed person who blocked everybody out so thank you for your story because it made me feel like I wasn't alone