It is true I am judging myself by thinking I am a failure. It is true that I have to take any job, the next job offer that comes... I wish I had the luxury to pick and choose, but I do not.

I have three months until my unemployment runs out. That's when things will be a true emergency, if not in two months time. It is a bit dire, even now. Three months is not long.

I am looking outside my field and am applying for anything for which I seem qualified, but I have to move first, so I cannot take just any job outside the home (like let's say a retail job) until I've moved. That wouldn't make sense until I've moved.

Back to self judging.... my identity does not reside with my work -- no. I just look at what's happened over the last two years, and it makes me feel like a failure.

That being said, I did very well in two final interviews this week. I felt more on top of my game, despite a few fumbles. This helped me to feel like I DO have knowledge that perhaps I haven't even shared in interviews -- I felt for the first time in a while that sweet taste of success... though if this is going to be another rejection, my self esteem will take another big hit. I cannot take another rejection..... it has been too many, for too long. Two years of rejections.

I pray that I hear good news. It's another part-time contract job that pays well and which would help me to be independent again. My parents said they would help me financially to afford the apartment if I don't have another job by the time I move, but I really don't want that, and I know they don't either.

This is taking all of my strength... I should listen to my own signature message.... you never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.

Thank you, everyone, for your support, your understanding and your help....

I will keep posting about this, as things unfold....