((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))
it gives me such hope to meet ppl who have started to or have healed...it gives me hope that i can begin to heal and take back what's mine..my life and my happiness...which was so crudely taken from me...thankyou everyone for making me feel loved...making me feel like i am somebody...somebody worth it..worth a damn...and that is a special...wonderful feeling....
hugs hugs hugs

i want.....to want.....to live......
so incredibly badly...
my will is strong....
but it is crushed under something so heavy and destroying...
but it is there...waiting until it can be let out...
and i believe it will....as i begin to heal
and i just hope and hope and hppe that i CAN heal...
im scared and terrified of facing this...
but i think it is time...
i just don't want to go at it in isolation..its helps to know someone is by your side...either physically or just in their thoughts and mine..
i feel more positive today...i don't know if it is a fluke..
but i feel supported....and hopeful...its slight..but it's there..
and El..it is so awesome to know u in person...
you are so dear to me...
and so helpful...but
i will never forget that u too are dealing with what i am..although maybe at a different stage..and
i will be sensitive to u..your pain...and your mind..your needs...
i will never hurt u...or drain u...on purpose..
love u...xoxo