I would be upset with those comments as i have been raped and abused and I have and still am living with it, forever.

Can you have a very blunt conversation with him when the show isn’t on ?

It can’t be always be on his terms” and get ugly about your comments. When you say he puts his foot down ? What does that mean ?

Any chance he would go to couples counseling ? If not
You should find a Therapist to help you learn skills to help you find more stability and your needs are met in this relationship.

I wish you luck