Went back to the dr today and it turns out I have mono . But I didn’t seem to get it as bad as I hear it can be. Just the fever for three days and then a sore throat. I don’t feel like the exhaustion I feel is any different than my usual exhaustion. I have been sleeping a lot more but that’s what I usually do when I don’t work.

My sister in law is freaking out that I might have exposed her newborn to mono. She’s not mad at me because I obviously didn’t know but I really feel like her anxiety to be perfect with this baby has already torn us apart. Like I’ll never be good enough to be around her. I don’t know how much is in my head and how much is real. But I know our relationship will never be the same. I feel like I’ll never be allowed to see the baby. She already refuses to bring the baby to my house because it’s too dirty for her. Even when I clean it, it’s too dirty. She and my other sister in law are literally my only friends and if she’s gone I’ll be down to one friend. Makes me want to cry.