In my experience, thinking about in therapy in terms of "transference" paves the way for damaging effects -- such as emotional devastation, eroding of psychological defenses, destabilization, dependency -- to be disregarded cuz hey it's only transference.

If you mention your feelings to your therapist, and the resulting conversation brings all sorts of pain/humiliation/rejection, and this is deemed to be nothing more than transference, where does it end? Once the transference narrative has been laid down, all manner of suffering is permitted based on the shaky premise that it's productive suffering.