Hi, possum, I think I get it. I was diagnosed 8 years ago not with full-blown DID but with DDNOS. This after many years of therapy and trying to "get in touch" with my emotions.

I think transference, and whatever it is that can lead to that, is very complicated and not well-understood. This applies also to countertransference, which is where things can get very messy. Also, in my view, sometimes re-traumatizing and damaging. So your caution seems well-advised to me.

Therapy has been a pretty long, crappy experience for me. The newer therapies weren't around when I started and I never tried them. Now, most of my feeling of having been traumatized is related to bad therapy, so I don't think any other T is likely to understand that.

Nevertheless, have you tried any of them -- EMDR, brain-spotting, schema therapy? It has sounded to me like they can get to the "touchy" points without some of the risks of regular interpersonal therapy. If you like your current T OK otherwise, have you considered doing EMDR along with continuing with him?

How one finds a unicorn -- maybe a unique, individual experience?