Hi,

It took me a few days to reply. I needed a bit of time away.
I'm really amazed by the helpful messages and I'm very very thankful for the support and kindness that you all shared as a reaction to my post.

It's a bit weird, but like someone wrote above, the anticipation may be harder than death and the loss itself. It's the insecurity, the not knowing. How long will she still be around? Will I have the chance to say goodbye if I don't do it right now? How long will she be able to keep working?... you know, all of those questions keep going through my head.

I know that therapy is a very selfless kind of act. It always made my therapist seem like someone almost not human anymore, an angel or something...
I'm sure that quite a few people will know what I mean by that. We don't get to see their 'bad' side. They never seem to be annoyed or bored by what we're telling them. And that makes it feel like there's nobody on this planet that is just like them or that could offer the same support, help and love and kindness...
Also, it's very hard to know that she has this 'role'. Unlike a friend who would have been diagnosed with a disease, I can't spend more time with her. I can't visit her, try to help her, be there for her... And that makes it feel very wrong that I'm continuing my therapy sessions.

I still don't know what I'll be doing. Looking for a new therapist yet? Taking a break maybe? I hope I at least still get the chance to talk to my therapist about it...

Thanks again for all your kindness and reactions to my post!