I take a trigger to be something that results in me responding or thinking in a way that is not congruent with my adult self. For example, I know it's ok to have likes, wants, and needs. I know that everyone has them. I know that what I like is just about me and they are ok. Those are my adult knows. However, when I am triggered in this way, I really believe I am bad for asking for something I want, for even wanting what I want - even if it is as simple as I want to eat at this restaurant over the one my wife wants to eat at. And at it's extreme I can't even ask for the simplest thing such as watching a specific show on tv.