Can anyone explain some of the possible reasons or their thoughts on it at least for the highs and lows of the intensity of feelings for their T and why it changes so drastically? I have done a lot of reading around transference and ET as I have it for my T. It's like a roller coaster ride and so so very frustrating. I read that it's mainly due to unmet needs in childhood etc etc but I don't understand why the levels of intensity vary so much from week to week. Some weeks it is so intense that all I think about literally is my T and the 'love' I feel towards him. Other weeks I think about him all the time but it's less warming and instead extremely painful (I guess this is the longing for what I can't have part). On a few occasions during a rupture, it disappeared completely and Right now it's at a somewhat more 'normal' level like the feeling of caring about a person I have shared so many intimate details with. I look forward to seeing him but don't yearn for him every minute. As I type this I dread even saying it aloud as I fear the intense crazy almost obsessive feelings will return soon.